Ellen is a founding member of VVF and the elder stateswoman of the herd. She came to us after an illustrious career at Lazy Lady Farm and is as gentle, serene and unassuming as they come. 2020 was her last season milking, and she is now content to drink whey and receive an abundance of butt scratches for her many years of dedicated service. Hobbies include: reliving her glory days as the captain of her high school field hockey team, trying to get into Transcendental Meditation and fending off marriage proposals from much younger bucks.
Sylvia is one of the Three Amigas who’s been with us from the goat-go. Also an LLF alum, she’s been retired due to a delicate constitution. She is in possession of some of the most spectacular (and black tie formall!) wattles around. Hobbies include: reading a dog-earred copy of Camus’s “The Stranger,” smoking clove cigarettes and attending spoken word poetry readings. In 2021 she launched a side hustle planning and photographing marriage proposals.
Placer aka Placemat aka Placey One-derful was my first goat love, a loud and loving lady whom I met and bonded with my very first year milking goats at Lazy Lady. She demands eyeball rubs and head scratches, loves yogurt and yelling and will insistently win over any goat skeptics with her affection and tenacity. Hobbies include: perfecting her selfie game, committing lines from the movie “Heathers” to mammary and singing off-key in the shower.
Frida aka Snork is our special needs babe, having lost her ears to frostbite and rocking some regrettably malformed hind feet that make moving around hard. Nonetheless she has ‘tude to spare and has improbably become the herd’s ranking Alpha goat, regularly putting the other does in their place if they try to dethrone her. Because of her physical limitations, Frida has become a pet and will not be a milker. But she’s an integral and ridiculously adorable member of the herd. Hobbies include drinking orange soda directly from the two-liter, playing Red Dead Redemption on her headset and plotting world domination in the shade of a favorite tree stump.
Crumb is an aggressively loving tricolored lady who was once our top milker but is now living out her days in dreamy retirement. She comes from a storied line of Lazy Lady goats, but I met her at Consider Bardwell, where she would routinely and inconspicuously thrust herself into any and all goat-hug proceedings Zelig style. She made her way to VVF after some behavioral problems (read: getting kicky on the stand) proved too much for her owners to deal with. But with lots of love and attention, she’s become the undisputed sweetie pie of the herd. Hobbies include: reluctantly participating in others’ mischief-making while silently fretting about getting grounded, refining her brownie-baking technique, maintaining a GPA of 4.5.
Mouse was born at Lazy Lady but I met her at Consider Bardwell, where her winning overbite and unflagging devotion to the “no goat left behind” ethos secured her status as a top boo. After CBF dispersed their main milking herd, Mousey came to live with me and rounded out my crew of beloved faves. A tattooed rendering of her extraordinary profile resides over my heart. She loves seltzer, and bananas. Hobbies include: listening to Stevie Wonder, hanging out in laundromats, falsely advertising her qualifications as the preeminent caprine divorce AND malpractice attorney of New England, attempting to set up a business as a Goatary Public.
Pippi was the first kid to be born here at Villa Villekulla in March of 2019 and as such was crowned with the name of the titular character from the book that inspired the farm’s moniker. She and her sister Potato were Placer’s twin doelings and sport their mama’s trademark chic white belt around their middles. Pippi is among the loudest (female) members of the VVF herd and routinely likes to make her presence known via amiable screaming. She’s a little shy but rewards those who are patient and gentle with a genuine goat smile. Hobbies include: hydrating, Pilates, journaling, mindfulness meditation, primal scream therapy.
Potato aka Tate is lil and scrappy and NOT MY FAVORITE BECAUSE I DO NOT HAVE THOSE. She has cheated death several times and he has a supremely cute white soul patch on her chinny-chin. She’s a natural born athlete and a world class mixologist (try her take on the Vesper!) .Hobbies include: barrel racing, ice luge, studying Ayurveda and crafting sophomoric memes.
Cuddles was born in 2020 and is just now growing into her ears. She gave us twin doeling beautiful twin doelings in 2022 (Colette and CeCe) but an udder abnormality requiring a mastectomy meant that Cuds is now a proud member of the auxiliary/therapy herd. Since her babyhood she’s trended spherical and is currently at least 91% dumpling. Hobbies include: being obsessed with Leonardo Da Vinci’s approaches to napping and theories of flight and the choreography of Martha Graham.
Paivi is an Original Chonklet, having plopped with minimal drama out of her mother Placer in spring of 2020. She’s as low-maintenance as they come, a real Vermont earthy crunchy sort. Her ears, while not quite Cuddles level nutso, are quite impressively horizontal. Hobbies include brewing her own kombucha while surreptitiously eating Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, mounting a career as a teen model after being discovered at a mall Orange Julius. (You might have seen her in a Delia’s catalog sporting chunky oxfords.)
Puku is our resident scammer with a tendency toward violence. She is always dressed to impress what with her astounding markings (those blue-grey eyes! That chic toupee! That scythe-like head-fang!) and her and exudes elegance but hide your family’s silver because she WILL abscond with it when you excuse yourself to the loo. The progeny of our two yelliest residents (Pippi and Kurt Vaughny-Goat), she is only quiet when sleeping. Hobbies include: fraud, tax evasion, intimidation and light treason.
This picture does not do justice to the magnificent waddles that Miss Shirley aka Swirley boasts on her sweet lil neck. (She is Sylvia’s sister, hailing from a storied line of waddles-havers.) Much like her namesake Shirley MacLaine (you can see it right?), Shirls started her illustrious career in film but has pivoted to a life in the clairvoyant arts. She is our resident psychic, chakra and aura expert and medium, enrobed in a peaceful energy and a wisdom that emanates from her pretty fawn-like face. Having spent late nights conferring with Puku, she is currently devising a spirituality-based MLM that will topple the Moon Juice empire.
Rockel aka Rocky aka Rocky Racoon is the most glamorous and voluptuous of the does at VVF, having boasted a storied career as a burlesque and cabaret queen prior to hanging up her glitter, pasties and feathers for the quiet life. Equal parts Dita Von Teese and Gypsy Rose Lee, Rocky’s panache and coquetry are legendary in the elite circles of GoatNightLife across the Northeast, not to mention the underground jazz clubs of London, Paris and Berlin. She arrived alongside Shirley in early 2021 after putting in a number of excellent years at Lazy Lady Farm, which is where I first encountered her excellence. I’m so happy to get to ease this gorgeous girl into retirement after a year or two of milking and allowing her extraordinary genes to grace our little farm.